Two-Minutes Hät

Targeting America in Iraq in terms of econ­omy and losses in life is a golden and unique oppor­tu­nity. Do not waste it only to regret it later.
Osama bin Laden, December, 2004. (via A Tiny Revolution)

Whatever one can say about Osama bin-Laden, he is not stu­pid. He is smart enough to under­stand that the U.S. has blun­dered into Iraq — and thus smart enough to under­stand that it was essen­tially Bush, Cheney, and their fel­low con­spir­a­tors that did the blun­der­ing. I hope it is widely under­stood that if Gore had taken office the U.S. mil­i­tary would likely not have invaded Iraq, nor would it have farmed out bin-Laden’s actual cap­ture to Afghan drug-mercenaries.

He also likely under­stands that the inva­sion of Iraq has split the French, Russians, and Germans from the U.S. on mat­ters regard­ing the so-called “War on Terror.” All three of those coun­tries have actual expe­ri­ence with ter­ror­ism (Algeria, Chechnya, and the reported stag­ing ground for the 9/11 hijackers).

It is also likely that he under­stands the effects of his first speech to Americans — I would not be at all sur­prised if he also believed that he was partly respon­si­ble for get­ting Bush re-elected. Certainly his last-minute echo­ing of Kerry’s com­plaints about the Bush admin­is­tra­tion pro­vided some peo­ple with the excuse to vote Bush they were look­ing for.

Granted, that is a start­ing assump­tion, but I don’t believe it’s unrea­son­able given bin-Laden’s skill­ful abil­ity to manip­u­late west­ern media into believ­ing there is any such thing as “al-Qaeda”. Yes, that’s right, I said it. There is no al-Qaeda orga­ni­za­tion, and fur­ther­more, there never was. At best there are guys who know a guy, who know a guy, who met bin-Laden years ago. That’s it. People who take up inter­na­tional ter­ror­ism slap the label “al-Qaeda” on it so it seems like it’s big­ger and bad­der — and thus bet­ter sup­ported — than it really is.

The rea­son inter­na­tional ter­ror­ism exists is because ter­ror­ism is — iron­i­cally enough from Bush — the “weapon of the weak.” In case peo­ple haven’t noticed, there are about 5 bil­lion peo­ple who qual­ify as “weak,” which means that the tiny minor­ity of the world who wish to vio­lently attack the sim­i­larly fic­tional entity known as “America” must by nec­ces­sity take up the “weapons of the weak.”

I could con­tinue with the scare-quotes, or wax poetic on how blither­ingly stu­pid it is to have a War on a Type of Weapon (or how declar­ing war on the “weapons of the weak” is triv­ially reforged into what it appears the “war on ter­ror” has become: a war on the weak), but it’s more impor­tant to make the point: Osama bin-Laden likely knows that within the United States he is the “car­toon­ish supervil­lian,” just as George Bush, Jr. is almost cer­tainly a car­toon­ish supervil­lian to much of the Iraqi insur­gency. If he can read “Rogue State”, he can prob­a­bly get a satelite feed or a sam­pling of media clips about him­self. At the very least, he can get a sum­mary of how west­ern media por­trays him.

Change gears for a moment: if Jefferson Davis (pres­i­dent of the Confederacy dur­ing the U.S. Civil War) could’ve par­rot­ted crit­i­cisms of McClellan he saw in north­ern papers and then watch the mon­u­men­tally incom­pe­tent gen­eral stay in charge, why wouldn’t he? If you can use reverse psy­chol­ogy on your oppo­nents, via “their” media, why wouldn’t you?

Of course, you can’t per­mit your­self to assume that bin-Laden is using reverse psy­chol­ogy, because that means he stops being a car­toon­ish supervil­lian and come down to the level of the ordi­nary, manip­u­la­tive shits that most peo­ple run into on a day-to-day basis. Which essen­tially means we’re killed tens of thou­sands of peo­ple, spent hun­dreds of bil­lions of dol­lars, invaded two coun­tries, and gen­er­ally pissed of the entire planet try­ing to catch an ordi­nary manip­u­la­tive shit who hap­pens to have money, a fanat­i­cal take on reli­gion, and a stack of body­bags on his eter­nal tab.

Osama bin-Laden using reverse psy­chol­ogy in inter­na­tional pol­i­tics also drags the entire lofty edi­fice down to the level of ordi­nary humans. The follow-up ques­tion is: Who else among the would-be god-kings is sim­i­larly petty? Could it be that the Bush junta itself is pop­u­lated by ordi­nary manip­u­la­tive shits born into sim­i­larly vast com­mer­cial and polit­i­cal empires? Could they be attempt­ing to use a fel­low manip­u­la­tive shit as an excuse to try and col­o­nize access to the largest oil reserves on the planet, shortly before peak oil — just as bin-Laden is attempt­ing to use Bush to build an “Islamic” Empire?

Though in fair­ness, I sup­pose if you have only ever viewed the world through limo­sine win­dows, it might be easy enough to over­look that there are mil­lions of peo­ple who — by virtue of liv­ing there already — con­sider the oil theirs.

Update: Credited ATR for car­toon­ish supervil­liany crack. Damnable assumptions.

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